sometimes I read the way I write and I'm immediately caught off by what I'm saying because it's a direct indicator that it's not me. It's me trying to be something that I'd like to be. but I don't like it, not one bit, so I might as well just be myself. I catch myself wondering who I am sometimes. You get so caught up with life that you forget to recognize the person you tiredly glance at every morning and night in the mirror. My friend told me today that I was a friendly person, and that I wasn't shy. I don't know why that caught me off guard. because I guess for the longest time, I believed myself to be someone with low confidence and self-esteem. Someone who was struggling to fit into a group of people so unlike herself that she started to question who she was. I miss being with people that know me. People that can reassure me of the good qualities I have, instead of poking fun at every one of my flaws.

I miss my friends. I love my boyfriend more than you could possibly know, but sometimes, I just need the comfort of a friend. Of someone who's known me longer and can tell me about the girl I used to be. and still am. Because for some reason... I seem to forget.